I wasn't hiding my kid from the world....

…I was hiding the world from my kid.

Today I was listening to a Drake song - and I really felt this lyric.

“I wasn't hidin' my kid from the world

I was hidin' the world from my kid

From empty souls who just wake up and look to debate

Until you starin' at your seed, you can never relate.” - Drake Emotionless Song

For the first time in my life - I truly related to this lyric. I know my son is different.

And not everyone understands. There are some cruel kids, there are some cruel adults who just don’t understand. Taking care of an autistic child is exhausting depending on where they are on the spectrum. Having to explain to people why he’s doing something or acting the way that he’s acting is exhausting.

So for a period in my life - thank God that time is over - I hid my child from the world to protect him in hopes that I could “fix” him before anyone could see. So no one could or would ever treat him differently.

I love my son - I just didn’t want him to experience the evil of this world. I hate to say this now because who am I to think that I shouldn’t have an autistic child. I wasn’t expecting it because it was never diagnosed in my family. And before I knew it was autism I was just trying to get him to be on track with his age group and be normal for his age group. Now that I know that it is autism I just want to help him lead as independent of a life as possible. So I hope that no one takes offense to how this article is written.

I want one of two things for my child now that I am at this point - I want for him to be as independent as possible and if that cannot happen I want for him to be ok, safe and protected by the people who care for him in this world when I’m gone.

When Pam and I wrote the business plan for our non profit it had us outline every possibility and how we would handle it. For example if this happens; what is your plan to handle it and that’s exactly where I am with my son. Autism being diagnosed in my son has taught me that I have to be more prepared for any and every possibility. I thought I was prepared for motherhood but I see now that I have to have a plan A, B, C and I have to be ready for anything.

Being a parent of an Autistic child can take you on an emotional rollercoaster ride. The best part of the ride though is the end - Acceptance.

I love this quote from my good friend Pam’s article below -

“Don't Try to Change Their World Too Much, Join Them In Their Ausome World Instead.”

I know how cruel this world can be. I know how unkind it can be. This world has been unkind to me; and Lord knows I want to protect my baby from it all. I want to believe I can; I know, I know (I can’t - maybe not all but best believe 99.9% lol). If I could; I would take the bullet for him because as much as I’m going through- he’s the one really going through it.

Another great film on Autism that I thought of when I heard the Drake lyric was a short film on Disney Plus - Pixar Sparkshort Float - Please check it out if you are an Ausome Parent.

Some Ausome Parents are lucky enough to go straight to the Acceptance phase like my good friend Pam. For those of us that have been on the emotional rollercoaster ride - Float is definitely a short film you will relate to.

One thing that really helped me get off of the rollercoaster ride was joining Autism Parental support groups on Facebook. I was able to see that #1 - I wasn’t alone. There are so many people with the same experiences and frustrations. I’ve laughed, cried and sympathized with so many of the posts that I’ve seen. Going a step further actually finding a live friend (in person lol) going through the same thing - it’s nice to laugh with someone about what we’re going through the good, the bad and the ugly.

For example Pam’s son at a point in his life was a “runner”. My son is currently a “runner”. Many Ausome parents know what I mean when I say “runner” - i.e. if you let their hand go they’re taking off. They’re little human explorers and they just want to run and explore everything. So yeah - it’s nice to laugh, cry and relate in person too :) -

I hope this article helps an Ausome Parent somewhere. :) - Sending Love to you wherever you are in your parental journey - may you find your way to full acceptance if you haven’t already. It’s a very peaceful place for you and your child to be. It’s a place of not caring what other people think and enjoying/ loving your child where they are in their journey.

Signed,an Ausome Parent,

Jennifer Owens

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